WEIRD REALIZATION
I've come to a point in my life when my mental faculties and my physical abilities begin to loose strength. Why? Once a confident person full of joy now an insecure one full of acceptance. Not to depress any one reading this, but it's hard to believe how the mind and body ceases to function like it used to. And yet, accepting that there's a ticking clock that slows you down, while it speeds time, becomes inevitable.
A REALIZATION
Is insecurity synonymous to humility? Is it OK not to know? Or to accept that you will never know? Knowing is the certainty of defining the essence of a thing. But the essence of everything, in the smallest form, becomes ephemeral. As if everything has two meanings that contradict their essence. The duality of life is a contradiction and defining it means accepting that you just don't know.
REALNESS
“Being is a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of readiness to die.” (I am not sure who said this, maybe I just doctored a quote from someone famous --my apologies for not citing whomever that may be.)
REALITY
Middle age has brought me more failures than successes. But the quality of those two are reversed when quantifying their impact it had on others. My successes have helped people more than my failures, so my family and friends would probably say that I have more successes than failures. I used to win at everything that I was good at...but then I got older and started doing those things that I had been afraid to do because it required me to go beyond the easy road. Consequently, I failed or wasn't a hit when entering an unknown field of work. And unfortunately, it made me loose hope on my strengths. I then looked for hope in my wisdom but found only the certainty of the unknown. Being is Not Knowing that you are being even if you are being.
REAL GOOD
Aside from having someone whom I love dearly and loves me for all the crazy reasons that I don't really want to know, yesterday, music from my childhood reassured me that no matter what, it's REAL GOOD TO BE. The old songs brought me a kind of jubilation that ironically nostalgia produces. And to walk away accepting that things are because they are, and that's good enough, I leave you with "Cucurrucucu Paloma" from Lola Beltran (-a video clip to applaud):
Click for Lola Singing!
3 comments:
Thank you for creating this blog. Finally a blog that has writting full of substance, prose and overall-literary talent! I hope my comments will not only motivate you to continue writting but will guilt you into staying true to your craft.Otherwise, it would be selfish of you to keep your writting to yourself!
With utmost respect, I would like to challenge these labels you employ such as failure and humility. I think us humans, at times when things don't happen the way we plan, allow disppointment to set into our minds. But before we allow this thought to implant into our minds we need to understand how our minds work. You are correct us humans never really know reality.We can only know perceptions of our reality. We experience and respond to the world around us primarily through our sensory representational systems. Now here's the challenge-its our neuro-linguistic 'maps'of reality that determine how we behave and that give those behaviors meaning, not reality itself. All this to simply say..that it generally isn't reality that limits us or empowers us, but rather our map of reality. What do you do? Change the map!
On the song..my son whose a bird lover thought he was listening to a bird sing!
Green Sahara: Your kind, wise words about my writing gave me so much, you have no idea. Especially the comment about your son liking Lola Beltran's singing. I am new at blogging and therefore grateful for anyone who likes what I have to say. But yesterday, I also found out that Green Sahara green "blocked" me. I am sorry If what ever I said in subsequent posts offended you. Again, what ever I say, it's nothing but me rambling on what I reflect about my life and those believes that my art of being.
Don't be silly, you did not offend me. I did not mean to block you, I think I must have accidently clicked a feature on this site that block you. I am new to this site as well.
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